I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
