My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
