The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
