Grow some girl-balls and come out already
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
