yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
