never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
