I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize