so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
