Me too!
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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