my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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