This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
