At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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