how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
