I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
