He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
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We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
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Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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