She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
