i just had sex bonerless
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
