we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
