none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
