Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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