Buhtt sex?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
