We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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