Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I had to cum in my sink.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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