Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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