If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize