He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
