he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
