his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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