I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Houston, we have a blender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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