Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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