he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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