mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
