So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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