so explain again why im purple
no
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
