My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
