i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize