This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
