My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I supernannyed him into submission
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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