I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You dont lie about slip and slides
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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