when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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