next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
