i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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