uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
