U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
