Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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