at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
