forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
