Sponge bath it is.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
