I wish I could teleport
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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