Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
