I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so that wasnt chicken after all
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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