physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
