i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
