My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Dicks are not precious.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize