i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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