He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
