Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
