I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
