I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
