She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
