So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize