Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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