We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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