When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
