..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
