He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
