This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
