I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
