So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
