1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
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